Watermelon Cake!

Ok I was on my favorite website www.tablespoon.com and I found the most adorable cake ever! It strawberry cake that looks like watermelon! I know it's obvious but it's just too adorable.

Well from what I can tell it'll be an easy desert to make. It's pretty much strawberry flavored cake mix, icing, jelly beans and chocolate chips. But I figured I could make my own twist on it considering I can't stand buttercream icing. I'll swap it with cool whip instead. I'll just add pink food coloring a bam! You have pink icing. Same goes for the green part of the "watermelon".

Next ill put the chocolate chips in the middle and I'll be done. But I want to find a food flavoring to make it taste like watermelon but I don't think Betty Crocker has any. Well I can still look.

So I'll try and make this for Scott's birthday just to have a side treat. I don't know how big of a hit it will be but I can sure try it!

Just Another Day In Paradise!

Let's start from last night…
Scotty fought sleep like you wouldn't believe. He finally passes out around 11. I prayed to God he would sleep in. He did! Only wish I knew what I had I'm store for my wake up call. Poopy diaper malfunction! Lol

I'm not kidding, Scott managed to get poo everywhere lol. On his pillow, his blanket and all over him of course! Well I took him into the bathroom to get cleaned up and once he saw the tub I was in for trouble. He wiggled and squirmed so much that I ended up with poo all on my arms. I'll be honest if I wasn't used to this I would've been mad but I just laughed and got his bath water going.

After his morning bath Johnny made him breakfast, eggs. We say down and watched the land before time 2 gear valley adventures. Scott paid no mind to it but that's ok.

Well he's been acting funny today he constantly wants to be held. I don't know if it's because he's not feeling food or if he just wants to be held but it's driving me a tad bit bonkers! Lol I love him though. He was fighting sleep so much lately that im not sure what's going on. But he'd asleep right now thank god lol

Well just wanted to update you guys!

Girls Night: Guilty or Guilt Free?

So today I was able to get a mom break. It was wonderful! I got to go swimming and out to eat at IHOP. I also got to just relax and talk about things I can only talk to friends about.

Now I feel guilt knowing that I could be home with Scotty and soaking up mother and son time. But I Really believe that I deserve a break from all the craziness I call motherhood. I feel like sometime people criticize me on being a bad mom when I let my mom watch Scotty when I want a little me time. I know I'm not a bad parent it's just sometime I feel like he needs to be with me 24/7. Other patents may disagree and say "you need you time" but sometimes when you feel like everyone is watching you, you don't want to be labeled " the mom who pawns her kids off".

That's just something I never want to be labeled… I love my son more than anything it's just sometimes I need a break too.

Now here is where I feel guilty...
My mom called me a few minutes ago saying that something was going on with Scotty. She said that he's got a big red spot on his forehead and that she thinks that it's the reason he's being so cranky. Ok so my first thought was "oh my god Stacy, he's having an allergic reaction to something and I totally didn't see it!"

I feel so guilty and that it's my fault. I feel like if I didn't go be selfish and have me time Scott would not not be feeling good.

Scott is with me now and he seems to be in a better mood but I still feel guilty. So I am still debating was girls night wrong or guilt free.

Something Strange is Going On.

So lately I have noticed that something has been missing for four months now…

Yes its that friend every woman looks forward to meeting. I have a feeling it's from stress being too tired , you know different things that would postpone that visit.

Well lately I've noticed a few things that have been affected. I'm more sleepy now. Everytime I eat something I get naseaus. So long story short I have a feeling a bun is in the oven.

Now keep in mind I took seven stick tests and one blood test and they were a bit crazy with results. 2 stick tests came up positive and the rest negative so I was very unsure of things.

Now here it is June and I find myself having most of the symptoms but I'm pretty sure I'm not and it's just a virus. But I'm pretty much denying it like I did the last time I was pregnant and didn't find out till I was 3 months along.

I'm not sure if I will be ready for another one if I am pregnant again, but the signs are pretty clear and I don't know how everyone would look at me.. I'm debating on weather or not keeping it a secret if I am. At this very moment I'm not sure but I hope to find out really soon. I just hope no one would be mad at me.

Patience is a Virtue.

So even though we spent all day yesterday cleaning out that bedroom for Scotty he refused to sleep in there. So though his crib is in his new room I still had to pull the playpen into my room and put him to bed in it.

Don't get me wrong I know it'll take some adjusting but boy did he throw a huge fit! I felt bad letting him tire himself out by crying but sheesh he knew I was there and I wasn't going to let the "boogie man" get him.

And I thought I had bad anxiety? I think he has it worse than me lol. But that's ok because deep down inside I don't think I'm ready for him to be in his own room. *Sigh* I know he's growing up but the middle bedroom just seems so far away. God I really didn't know how scared of watching this little person I created grow up so fast... His birthday is in a month and I'm so not ready to say " my baby is one!" I kind of just want him to stay little lol. But that's not how it works.

Oh how I'm so scared of what the future holds for this special little boy. I'm am blessed to say that he's my son and that I am able to watch him flourish in life. Gee I just realized I'm babbling on and this was supposed to be about asking for tips on how to gradually get Scott comfortable in his new room lol. I guess this blog has also become a semi-journal.

Well he's sleeping peacefully in my room and I should be off to bed as well.

Coming To Terms.

Ok so I never realized how much stuff a person can obtain until you rearrange your house! I'm not fond of this but Johnny loves doing it. He says it cleans the house better. Point proven lol.

Well any who. Today we did a major clean and rearrange in the house and let me tell you I am exhausted! We finally cleaned out the middle bedroom for little Scotty so he can have his own room. I will be honest and say I'm not ok with it because I'm so used to having him in my room, but he needs his own room now. It's still messy but it's a work in progress for the next few days.

So let's be honest… I am freaking out that I won't have him close by any more. Yes I know he's in another room but it's just not the same. First I had to deal with the scary experience that he's in front of me and not in my belly now they want me to put him in his own bedroom?!?! Oh my gosh I swear I almost had a heart attack!

I'm the kind of mom that thinks little things can happen ok? I have this fear that I won't be able to hear him when he cries at night now. I also fear that he'll fall out of the crib, that he'll feel lonely and scared. I know he's growing up but AHHH!!!!! I'm a nervous week people! I have no idea how to deal with the anxiety that he's not in the same room. I really need some relief from this scary thought.

Also I'm a little excited yet scared that he'll be one this coming July. Now I'm excited that he's growing up yet scared of how the future is going to go. I just don't know how to deal with this anxiety! HELP!!!!

Laughing at Landon!

Yes this is about my hilarious nephew! Ok so as I was typing up my recent post, Tammy was talking to Landon about our fish, Black widow. Yes I know that fish has a strange name but there's reason behind it lol. Well Landon was telling her how he fed the fish and Tammy and I ask him "uh.… how much did you give him?" Landon said, "I shook it ten times!"

Tammy bolts to the fish tank and starts laughing. I walked out of my room to see what she was laughing at and asked "so how much did he feed widow?" she replied "well uh he fed him enough."

So I look in the fish tank and the whole top layer of water was covered in fish food! I turned to look at Landon and I asked "are you trying to kill our fish?" He shook his head yes lol.

I had to laugh and share this because the small story behind this goldfish is that we bought him along with 9 other goldfish. We brought them home and next thing you know all our fish wound up belly up. Well all but him. So we went out and bought him some more buddies. Same thing happened. So we did it a third time, but this time we watched closely… This little fish is EVIL! It killed the other fish! So from then on his name was Black widow. We make jokes on how long is this fish going to last but who knows! Lol!

Decisions, Decisions.

So this past year I have been awesomely given the job of mommy. Though it has crossed my mind for the past ten months on weather I get a job or take on the duties of a stay at home mommy. Well let's be honest I would love the opportunity to spend each and every day with Scott to enjoy all his firsts. And so far I have, but I still felt bad about not bringing any income into the house. So in April I found a job as a dishwasher. It wasn't great but it was still a job and it made me feel better knowing I could buy things for my boy. Well as time went by every time I was at work all I could think about was staying home with Scott. I'm not spending enough time with Scott.

So I ended up leaving my job, well I was fired under ridiculous circumstances. Though I felt like a failure, my love had said "don't worry everything will be ok, just focus on Scotty." I felt very uneasy about him saying this because deep down I really knew where he was getting at. Stay at home mommy. The thought raced through my mind for weeks and I felt like I was unsure. I want to give him the best and I feel that way if I'm working, but maybe being super mom isn't whats best? What if god had intended me to be a stay at home mom? I was unsure of this for quite sometime until here recently my love had got a new job. He had told me that "if you want to go to work I won't stop you, but I would prefer you stay home with our son."

That very moment everything was clear. I knew in that very moment what would be best and what I thought was right. I have made the decision to stay home with my baby boy. I'm sure a lot of people think it'd be better for me to work but my mind is made up. Plus he's only this small once. And I wouldn't miss it for the world!