Tuesday, September 6, 2011
So as you may know that the baby blues can sometimes be thought to be post partum depression. Well here these past few weeks I've been confused to which I may have. You see when i first brought Scotty home from the hospital, it hadn't hit me until day 2. Well technically night 2, but any who...I was laying on the couch and Scotty was in the cradle sleeping soundly. I couldn't help but watch him sleep. There's something about it that just calms me. Well back to the point...As I was watching him sleep I just burst into tears. I really had no idea why. All I knew was that seeing him actually sleeping in the cradle instead of feeling him kick and move inside me made me cry. The thoughts than ran through my head were "oh my god, hes able to move and see...what if something hurts him?" and "how am I going to do this mom thing?" It was so overwhelming until dear ole hubby came and held me telling me I'd be OK and that everything would be fine, that I'm just adjusting to this very dramatic change. So i believed him up until yesterday. Needless to say i had a meltdown. I was left alone with my son for the first time in weeks. Well he started crying, i had tried feeding him, changing him, bathing him, rocking him, etc. all of which had done nothing to console my baby what so ever... So I started crying and crying and crying. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong. I kept swearing up and down that I had PPD. Johnny thinks that I am just overwhelmed and stressed. I think its more severe than that because Ive noticed that I get irritated with people very easily. I also noticed that I cry alot and am depressed, sometimes for no good reason at all. Hearing other babies make me want to cry as well. I just don't get it..is it the blues or is it depression?
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Good Morning! So yesterday was Scotty's first road trip ever! However, he slept the entire way there. I don't blame him though, If I could have slept I would have. The drive up there was pretty long and to have a bunch of munchkins in the backseat is entirely a whole other story. So about halfway there after taking a beating from the darn sun, I lose complete feeling in my legs and get that weird fuzzy tingling feeling. You know the feeling you get from sitting down too long and you can't get up because you know you'll fall? Yea that feeling. Around that same time we were listening to music on a potable DVD player (which I happened to drop on my foot >.< but I'll get to that in a bit), singing along to the songs and such when TK starts misbehaving. I figured it was because we had been in the car for promptly an hour and a half and come on now a kids going to get restless at that point and being that age. Well she kept on misbehaving so we took the DVD player from her. Never in my life had I heard a wail that loud...she of course tried to snatch it back and failed miserably. I on the other hand was trying to play authority figure, since her momma was driving, and be serious about her acting right or she couldn't get the DVD player back. I was so smooth I dropped the player on my foot! Can we say ouch! Savannah could not stop laughing at me because she has never seen someone move their leg that fast in her life. Well any who, lets fast forward a bit to grandma Webb's house. I was super excited when we got there...so I could get out of the car! my legs hurt that bad. Well so on we bring Scotty into the house and need I say more but Grandma Webb fell in love with this baby instantly! It was pretty darn cute how she told to me and Savannah that if he ever goes missing we know where to look. I saw what was going happen next as soon as she said it, because Savannah swears up and down that he's her baby. Surprisingly Savannah just looked at her and smiled. After spending time with grandma webb, we then decided to head on over to nonnie and coppy's house. Now as sweet and caring these people may be, you are never prepared for how rambunctious the kids and the dogs get as soon as you walk in the door. So again my little man got to play hot potato with another set of grandparents. He seemed to enjoy his time well spent with the grandparents yesterday because as soon as we hit the road to go home, he was out like a light bulb. Something similar to this...