Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Post Partum or Baby Blues?
So as you may know that the baby blues can sometimes be thought to be post partum depression. Well here these past few weeks I've been confused to which I may have. You see when i first brought Scotty home from the hospital, it hadn't hit me until day 2. Well technically night 2, but any who...I was laying on the couch and Scotty was in the cradle sleeping soundly. I couldn't help but watch him sleep. There's something about it that just calms me. Well back to the point...As I was watching him sleep I just burst into tears. I really had no idea why. All I knew was that seeing him actually sleeping in the cradle instead of feeling him kick and move inside me made me cry. The thoughts than ran through my head were "oh my god, hes able to move and see...what if something hurts him?" and "how am I going to do this mom thing?" It was so overwhelming until dear ole hubby came and held me telling me I'd be OK and that everything would be fine, that I'm just adjusting to this very dramatic change. So i believed him up until yesterday. Needless to say i had a meltdown. I was left alone with my son for the first time in weeks. Well he started crying, i had tried feeding him, changing him, bathing him, rocking him, etc. all of which had done nothing to console my baby what so ever... So I started crying and crying and crying. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong. I kept swearing up and down that I had PPD. Johnny thinks that I am just overwhelmed and stressed. I think its more severe than that because Ive noticed that I get irritated with people very easily. I also noticed that I cry alot and am depressed, sometimes for no good reason at all. Hearing other babies make me want to cry as well. I just don't get it..is it the blues or is it depression?