Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Just my thoughts...

I couldn't write this and not cry like a baby...You see back when you and i used to talk about having a baby, you sounded all excited and now that were actually pregnant things are way diffrent. You used to talk about how you would do this and that and I just dont see it. Its like everything you said and promised has gone out the window. Not saying youre doing anything wrong its just I thought youd be around a little more often once everything happened. I thought youd actually be here for all the special moments like when i found out the gender...I begged you to come but you had school. The first heartbeat you werent there. All the appointments you couldve been at, you missed. Like today...i really felt the first kick, like really felt it and you missed that too. It all just hurts because i thought youd be more involved. And what i dont understand is that i live with you and you miss so much. i dont understand why its like we are strangers just sleeping in the same bed, living in the same house. But yet you miss out on so much. Im not bitching or being hormonal i just wish you were here more. I understand that you have work and school but with the little time you are around or home...its like youre still not even here. I just wish youd stop missing out on the special moments...it doesnt feel good to experience them alone.


  1. I so understand how you feel dear lady. And not having a good answer but an understandable one. Sometimes when we are so busy like he is and missing out on so much, we go numb. Like turning off all the time. Why? Well it is easier to stay numb and not feel then to let the feelings in a lil here and there. When we do that we just ache all over with the loss of them when we have to be away. Not a good answer but may be what is happening. And he may not even realize he is doing it.

  2. I feel like he doesnt really care about anything thats related to our child.....he doesnt talk about getting anything ready he doesnt even talk to me about anything anymore...i just feel so alone in this whole situation. i feel like a single pregnant person.